September 2014
19
September 2014
19
September 2014
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September 2014
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September 2014
19

mom is finally home from the hospital.

and i am officially her bitch until she’s feeling better.

hopefully no one gets her a bell.

September 2014
15
September 2014
15

wow.

"don’t bother coming up, they’re idiots.”

apparently they have kept my mom at the hospital for two days—just sitting there waiting—for a procedure they don’t even have the personnel to do.

now they’re transferring her to another hospital—which could take the better part of the day to work out—where she will have to wait again to be worked into the surgery rotation.

my last rant was done in frustration, with a level of “maybe i just don’t understand how hospitals operate” worked in.

now i know they’re just fucking incompetent.

somebody better be working out how to cut two days of hospital stay from her bill, because this is fucking ridiculous.

September 2014
15

my madre has been in the hospital since friday.

i am of the ‘panicking will not help the situation’ mentality, but i’m starting to lose my cool.

i’m sure she’ll be fine, but the hospital has kept her for two days for no reason—
i get that doctors need days off too, but are you really telling me that it makes sense to have someone who has heart problems sit in a room for days getting worked up over a procedure that someone could have done on saturday? if she had gone to the doctor on thursday it would have been done on friday, so why make someone sit around like that?
—and now they have no schedule posted for when she’s going in.

it’s not like they’ve had all weekend to put it together, or anything. maybe i’m simplifying it a bit, but i’m pretty sure the people who are in the worst shape go first. not a hard list to make.

and it is a list that we were told would be posted last night, so the nurses would know if/when my mom got breakfast, as she can’t eat for six hours before the procedure.

it is a list we were told we could call for at 7 am, so we knew when to go in. i get that it can take anywhere from thirty minutes to four hours to do, so any schedule would be tentative at best, but something is better than nothing.

and given that they’re going to be paying for two totally unnecessary days in the hospital, it would be cool if my dad knew whether or not he had to take off work today to be there. if they aren’t going to do it until 4 or after he could have gone to work. and if the results aren’t good from this procedure, they may have to do another. which they probably won’t do late in the day, so if they don’t do the first procedure until later today, he’ll have to take off again tomorrow for the other one.

do they not get that people want and need the comfort of their loved ones in times like this? because they can’t be there for them if the hospitals don’t have their shit together. we live a half hour away, so calling as they wheel her to the OR isn’t going to help.

like, thanks for the info, but i kinda wanted to give her a hug.

and when does she eat if they don’t have a time set up??

she’s already nervous, allergic to the contrast material, and alone—she gonna be hungry all day too?

September 2014
11
Album Art

i monster—"heaven"

September 2014
10

rewatching—"buffy the vampire slayer"

September 2014
10
September 2014
10

add the net neutrality banner to your blog today.

raise awareness and petition your representatives to prevent ISPs from slowing access to sites that can’t or won’t pay extra for equal access.

as consumers of internet data, we are the ones who will suffer. it might not seem like a lot, but if this is allowed you are going to be denied access to a service you already pay for, based on which websites you frequent.

so many small companies and non-profits that simply don’t have it in their budgets to pay extra for what they should already have access to are going to be losing internet traffic—and in turn the profits and donations that keep them afloat—because access to their sites will be slowed down.

and that just isn’t right.

insert this script after the <head> section of your theme to add the september 10th net neutrality banner, or go to tumblr.com/stop to sign a petition or contact your senator.

<script type="text/javascript">
    var _bftn_options = { animation: 'banner' }
</script>
<script src="//widget.battleforthenet.com/widget.min.js" async></script>

September 2014
10
September 2014
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September 2014
09

Rules: In a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don´t have to be “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. Tag five friends, including me, so I’ll see your list. Make sure you let your friends know that you’ve tagged them.

I’ve been tagged twice, and totally forgot to do this—sorry, a-restless-dream!—so I decided to do a bit more than just make a list. Plus, I’m just plain wordy and it goes against my nature to simply say that something is important to me, without explaining why.

I’ve always loved reading, but between pulling my very first all nighter (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) and my last (a book on Southeast Asian sea nomads for an anthropology paper) there hasn’t been as much leisure reading as I would like.
By high school I lost the drive to read for fun, and by college I lost the time.
My senior thesis quite frankly ruined reading for me, and I am just now finding my way back. 

So most of the things that come to mind—the fiction and non which have really stuck with me—are either childhood favorites, or required class reading.
Not too much in between.
But I’m working on that.

  1. Anne of Green Gables (series) by LM Montgomery—Awkward, brazen, sensitive Anne. With a very serious knack for getting into trouble. What little girl doesn’t relate? I was a bright enough kid, but I never seemed to get things right, and I always felt like Anne Shirley was a kindred spirit. It certainly didn’t hurt that Anne’s quirky personality, her genuineness, and her ability to put her feelings into words always won out in the end. And for a book published in 1908 and set in a rural area, Anne was an awfully progressive character. I like a female character who puts her education and happiness first, and doesn’t settle for the first boy who makes his intentions known. Yet still manages to marry a doctor and have her happily ever after. Lucky little ginger, living the dream.
  2. Time Windows by Kathryn Reiss—This book was like Stephen King for children. I’m sure if I reread it as an adult, it’d be no big deal, but, come on—who writes a book about abusive parents, possession, and the death of a small child, all revolving around creepy attic dollhouse magic for  kids? Kathryn Reiss, apparently. But I loved it. I think this book was the first experience I had with the concept of the supernatural. Magic and fairytales, sure, but time travel paradoxes and lingering negative energy affecting people in the present? That was new. I suppose Doctor Who and Supernatural were inevitable. Don’t know why I even bothered trying to resist.
  3. Harry Potter (series) by JK Rowling—Obviously. Anyone who doesn’t like Harry Potter is either lying, or just doesn’t get it. Despite being about a 90s wizarding feud, everything in this story has a way of resonating with a real life issue, whether it is racism, classism, the dangers of overzealous or corrupt government, the dangers of indifference, the condition of the education system, etc. It is all in there. Aided in its awesomeness by the fact that it also happens to be a fantastic story. But for the record, Hedwig lives. Dobby lives. Remus lives. Fred becomes a Hogwarts ghost, pranking with Peeves, but only until his other half joins him in the afterlife. Unless they then both become Hogwarts ghosts, pranking for all eternity. My headcannon is still—and probably forever will be—evolving.
  4. Every single YA novel or memoir about the World War II time period. All of them. If it was a book about the period—generally with a female protagonist/narrator—I read it. Summer of My German Soldier, I Have Lived a Thousand Years, Escape from Warsaw, Greater than Angels, Journey to America, Lisa’s War. The same can be said about YA books about race or cultural prejudice. The Star Place, Maniac Magee, Jip, Children of the River, Park’s Quest. I grew up in a small town that had very little racial or ethnic diversity. The idea of discrimination and holocaust blew my mind as a kid, and these stories engaged me. All of these books were set at some point before I was born, and with little interaction with people from different faiths or racial backgrounds I grew up believing that they were horror stories from history—injustices that society had moved on from. Looking back, many of the people I grew up with weren’t as tolerant or liberal minded as I had always thought, and I often wonder if it was these stories that helped to shape my own worldview.
  5. On the Beach by Neville Shute—One of the first novels about a nuclear apocalypse. A post WWII cautionary tale about the clusterfuck that was/is the alliance system, and the dangers of atomic weaponry. The book certainly makes its point about how a combination of the two—the first of which had already led to two massive, and completely preventable wars within a span of couple decades—could easily bring about the end of the world. But there was an underlying theme that really stuck with me, outside of the main plotline, which is: What would you do? If you knew the world was coming to an end, how would you handle it? Each of the characters—and society as a whole—dealt with their impending deaths differently. Do you spend your final months living life to the fullest? Being as reckless as you like, without worry of the consequences? Do you try to make something of yourself before the end? Do you end it before the radiation hits, to suffer as little as possible? Do you brave out the radiation hit, and let death come naturally? Do you have it in you to watch all of the people around you die? What about the kids? Can you make the decision to end your child’s life, so they won’t suffer? So you don’t have to watch them suffer—so they don’t have to watch you suffer? It’s fiction, history, social commentary, and psychology all in one.
  6. A Woman in Berlin by Anonymous—This story was published anonymously, and is believed to be an autobiographical account of the Soviet occupation of Berlin in 1945. And it will break your fucking heart. In the US we are often taught about the Holocaust and war crimes committed by the German military on the Western front in WWII, but it’s much more rare to hear about the atrocities committed by Allied Forces. “History is written by the victors,” and all that. Yes, German forces did truly abominable things during their Russian campaigns, but the Soviet soldiers stationed in Berlin during the Battle of Berlin took their vengeance out on the local women. Any able bodied boys and men left in the city were detained or killed, and over 100,000 women and girls were raped. Over the months of starving conditions, displacement, and brutality, many of the older women took to engaging in relationships with high ranking Soviet soldiers to gain favors—food, fuel, housing—to take care of the young, sick, and elderly. It is absolutely heartbreaking to read from the point of view of one of those women, but essential to gain perspective on the tragedies of the War, and how those tragedies affected civilians regardless of where they were from.
  7. White on Arrival by Thomas Guglielmo—Not a novel, but a text about the evolution of white identity in immigrant communities in the United States. It looks at the perception of self—the sense of “ethnicity,” versus “race,” versus “color”—held by Italian immigrants in Chicago from the late 1800s to the mid 1900s. It’s interesting to see how ideas of race have changed over time, particularly when you’re not just thinking about it in the sense of race relations. How the predominant ideology would be to classify someone in one way, while they would classify themselves in another. How changing conditions can change the way entire groups view themselves, and their place within a society. How neighborhoods form, how race relations change, how whole societies evolve. It’s an interesting book, which describes many concepts that people seem to have trouble with, given that we live in a society in which so many people see race as something that is stagnant and inherent, and as simple as “black” and “white.”
  8. In Pursuit of the Past by Lewis Binford—Another academic work, this is an anthropology text that discusses archaeological theories, how they came to be, and in some cases, how they were improved upon. If you want to understand the world from an archaeological perspective, to look at how technology, settlements, and nature shaped the world into what we now know, this is a great book. It makes you think about how and why you do the things that you do—what is instinctual, what is social, what is individual. With lots of bones and arrowheads, because, that’s basically what archaeology is, right? Just arrowheads and Indiana Jones?
  9. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green—The book that brought me out of my reading funk. I wish this book—or any of Green’s books, for that matter—had come out when I was a little bit younger. I feel like having Green’s characters—their personalities, hobbies, and ability to express themselves—in my life would have made me feel much more comfortable inside my own head during those formative years. But given that tumblr is the land of spoilers, I didn’t expect the story to hit me emotionally the way that it did. I thought prior knowledge of the plot would dampen the blow—but as I was a sobbing, ugly-crying mess for more than 60 pages, that was not the case. And that is good writing; being able to emotionally destroy someone who already knew what was coming. Well played, Green. Well played.
  10. A Casual Vacancy by JK Rowling—I’m not actually finished with this book, but I feel like it belongs. I keep starting and stopping, starting over, and losing interest again. I think it’s because I don’t believe things are going to end well for the character whom I have become most attached to, and it’s making me nervous. But I’m a fairly quick reader, and this book just keeps putting me on my ass. I like the social commentary. I like that the story is told from so many different points of view. I like that as you read, you begin to read each of those characters differently—that you begin to understand each of the them and their motivations in a way that you wouldn’t were the story told from a more standard point of view. I like it.

Some books that I’m looking forward to getting around to at some point, eventually, maybe? At Swim Two Birds by Flann O’Brien, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran, Déjà Dead & the rest of the Temperance Brennan series by Kathy Reichs.

I was tagged by a-restless-dream and stephsby, and I am tagging:
avengerss, carleejean, hea-ther, its-scuttle, ky188, and incend-io.